Life of Mabel Gamlin

This looks to be written by a Cal Poly student in San Luis Obispo (where Mabel was living at the time), likely as an assignment for a human development class.

Transcription

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A LIFE HISTORY
OF
MABEL GAMLIN

By: Bonnie Nuckols

HD 308

June 10, 1987

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A LIFE HISTORY
OF
MABEL GAMLIN

On May 28, 1987, Mabel Gamlin turned 83 years old. Her life is one filled with many positive experiences, and in talking with her about them, I was able to learn a lot about her life structure. After just three meetings with Mabel, I had recorded more than enough information that could be presented in this paper. So, I initially set on accomplishing the task of selecting significant portions of our interviews from written transcriptions which would effectively reflect Mabel’s unique and warm personality, as well as her life-span development. This was certainly not an easy task in any way, for the content of our interviews was one which was filled with rich and outstanding life experiences! I learned a lot from listening to this remarkable woman for just a few hours. It is my hope that my choice of content and final interpretation will effectively reflect Mabel’s exraordinary life.

Mabel Gamlin was born on May 28, 1904, in a small town called OROSI in Tulare County, California. Because Mabel’s father felt strongly about her mother giving birth where a doctor was nearby, she had just traveled to OROSI where she was born in a hospital. Mabel’s childhood was spent in a small place in the California Mountains East of Fresno, which was basically secluded from the outside world. Her mother had nine children, seven of whom are still living, and are in their seventies and eighties. Mabel is sixth in the birth order of a family where she had brothers and sisters. She attended the Reedley schools to some extent and was educated up through the tenth grade.

Mabel’s parents first came to California with their families in the 1840’s. Her father came from a Scotch and English background and her mother from a German one. After they were married, they raised their family in a

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place that was a distance from the town of Dunlap in California. Mabel’s father owned an apple orchard there, and it was a nice environment to grow up in, according to Mabel. There was so much to be learned and explored, and the atmosphere was quite conducive to this. Living not far from Sequoia National Park, Mabel’s father was the assistant to the first officer ever in charge of the park. He worked at that for quite a number of years while maintaining the apple orchard. Mabel credits her father for her love of nature and her mother for her ability to carry peace and serenity with her. At the age of fourteen, Mabel took a trip to Kings River Canyon by horseback. Because of her love of nature, she describes this trip as one of the highlights of her childhood. Overall, Mabel holds positive and warm feelings about her childhood, yet her only regret is that she never got to see much of the outside world while growing up.

After Mabel went to high school for two years, she left school and went to work at the telephone company where she was a long distance operator. She lived with her sister in Fresno while working, but eventually had to quit the job as the result of a kidney infection. It is not long after that time that Mabel first met her future husband when she was 17 years old. It is around this time that the beginning of Mabel’s early adulthood transition began. The story of her life unfolds now in her own words throughout the next several pages with some interjections that allow for points of clarity. She begins with the first time she meets her future husband…
"I first met him at his sister’s home. I’d known his sister all my life. I never had happened to meet him. My sister and I were taking a walk one day, or a hike as we called them in the mountains, and stopped at his sister’s place. We went in and she introduced us to him, and I marked him for my own!.. I really did (know right away); I remember I have such an exact picture in my mind of the way he looked… I just liked his general attitude; he seemed kind of sensible and serious and he talked to us in a very sensible

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way. I think (it appealed to me that he was older than me). I never did really get along too well with boys my own age, although I have plenty of brothers and I get along well with them. Some way or other, I didn’t feel very assured (with boys my own age), but with him I felt at home. I really had a different feeling about him from the time we met, although I didn’t see him a great deal. We didn’t begin seeing a lot of each other until a year or so before we were married…My family never was very much one for weddings, (so they didn’t go)."

After marrying at age 21 to a man twelve years older than she, Mabel and her new husband settled down in Auburn, California, where her husband was working in the area at the time. Mabel didn’t work outside the home after marriage, and eighteen months after they were married, they had their first baby— a baby girl. Mabel had five children total, four girls and a boy, including twin girls. I asked Mabel what it was like to have twins. Her story follows…

“It really was (a surprise) in a way, because I kept telling them I was going to have twins, and I felt it had to be. But, neither the doctor or my husband paid attention. I had to go to bed several weeks before they were born because this leg got to swelling so bad. I didn’t go to the doctor, (so he didn’t really know,) but he said the reason that they didn’t detect the second one is that the fetal heart was behind the other one. But, even the doctor was surprised. When they came, when the first one was born, he said, “there’s another one!”… But, I still remember how they looked, that and seeing my husband for the first time. I could remember my introduction to the twins, that they brought them both in on a big pillow and (saw) their little round heads! That was the end of (my having children). I finished with a bang!”

In describing her responsibilities during marriage and motherhood, Mabel says this…

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“I was a person that canned lots of fruit and vegetables and that sort of thing, and I sewed when the kids started school. I made them a dress for every school day and two or three over. I never could finish them up; there was always a problem with the twins. They couldn’t bear to have the other one’s dress finished first, so I always finished everything up at night after they were in bed.”

When asked if she felt a big change in her life after her children were born, Mabel responded…

“I don’t know, you know all my life I’ve been so surrounded by children and babies that I don’t know that it really meant that much. I enjoyed my children for the most part… My children seemed to mind very well and I really never had much of a problem until my boy got into his teens. We had a problem there, but it really wasn’t so much with discipline as it was with peer pressure. I don’t know that I really had so much trouble. I never did let children overrun me, but they’re going to be more pleasant to live with, on the other hand, if you have a certain amount of control and you teach them control. I think teaching children control is the important thing. I’m too far from it now to really know much about bringing up children. I do think that people make a mistake when they make the child so insufferable that other people can’t stand it… But I was fortunate in one way that I kept my children under fairly good control, and my husband never would allow them to speak to me with anything but respect. So, I never had any difficulty with them being impertinent.”

It was easy for me to pick up on the fact that Mabel and her husband had a good marriage and good communication between them, through her expressions about her husband as an individual and about they as a couple. The following is reflective of this insight…

"My husband and I never had a big quarrel. We never quarreled over money. We didn’t have enough money to quarrel about! We consulted between us about

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what to buy. He never supervised my shopping… The only time that my husband was every gone very much was during World War I. We were living sort of in the country; it was in Fresno County, but a little ways out from town… He was in the Marines; he was a war veteran, but he never did go over seas. He was on Mare Island (in San Francisco) and he stayed there the whole time… We were so fortunate. I guess we did realize it, too. We could trust each other. Our marriage was built on trust and we didn’t have to be terribly worried that the other was going to be off with some other partner. It wasn’t that I could have prevented him. Of course, I was then left at home and we couldn’t have really supervised each other’s behavior. We just simply trusted that it meant too much to us; I wouldn’t have done anything to disturb my marriage. And, I’m sure he was the same. I see people who are very casual about (marriage) now. It’s just sad. And, I don’t know; it’s a question of which is hardest on children: to have a division and live with one parent or to have parents who are not trusting each other and who are quarreling and making an unhappy home all the time."

In discussing the topic of historical experiences, Mabel disclosed information relating to personal incidents which revolved around specific time periods. The first one focuses on the time her brother died in World War I, when Mabel was 14 years old…

"To us, it was a very sad thing, and particularly at that time, it took so long before you got any news about anything. When the war was over, we just started rejoicing that he would be home for Christmas. It was quite a long time before we got word that he had been killed. So, that was difficult… Well, I don’t know; dramatic things have passed me by for the most part… (During the depression), I was depressed along with other people, but we came through it. We had two children; in fact our son was born in 1934. I’m not sure just when the worst of the depression hit us; you know it really kind of struck over several years. It was probably after the stock market crash that

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we really felt the effects of it so much. It was then that my husband got out of work, and that of course was something so new to us; he had always been able to work. He had to go to work in a government camp in the mountains. He did pretty well. He made posts and was able to sell them. He really went along until we finally got to the point where things really started picking up. But, we felt it; every penny just had to be squeezed twice in order to feed the family. We were lucky; with one thing or another, we got by…
During World War II, I was full of indignation (toward America) after they started putting Japanese in relocation camps. I thought this was one of the dirtiest things that we ever did as Americans. We did bad enough to treat Indians the way we did, but what we did to the Japanese was terrible! My goodness, many of them had lived here for years and were quite well known. And, don’t think there weren’t people here that were just ready to grab their property. They lost a lot; they never got their property back… I don’t mean that we sympathized with what the Japanese war lords were doing; it was nothing like that… Nothing would have been too bad for (the Japanese) who attacked Pearl Harbor. But, on the other hand, the neighbors we knew personally who were loyal to the United States had our sympathy… Anyway, it was kind of difficult, but we lived through it. We came through it; I suppose these trials are what developed some character. There must be a reason for them. I guess I have developed a lot of this through the faith that I grew up with."

In expanding on the topic of faith, Mabel went into what her religious values involve:

"I think I have, as long as I can remember, been conscious of being a Christian, trying to follow Christ’s teaching. That’s been important to me…(In reference to a quote from the Bible), an idea is that I have done my best to live with my God and serve my generation; now I can sleep. I believe it was King David who was supposed to have said that. Perhaps that’s a little bit

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of my feeling at this stage in my life, that I have tried to live the best life that I knew how to live and I hope I’ve not harmed anyone. I don’t like gossip and I’ve tried never to start scandal or spread it. So, I do have some things that are definite rules of behavior with me. And, I trust I’ll never change from them. Of course, I may grow old and lose my mind and do most anything!"

It was refreshing to hear Mabel’s views about death, for they differ markedly from most of those in our society; there is a lot to think about here… "I hope I’m in my right mind, but I realize that death is a part of living… From the time we’re born, we’re really dying. Sometimes, it’s quite a bit, though. You see, within two years time, I had lost my husband, my oldest daughter, her son, and another grandchild. You really get to a point where you ask, what’s next? But, faith is the thing that carried me through… We can’t question things too much. I have an inquiring mind and am so interested in medicine and I’d like to know the why of things. But, I had to quit questioning why my daughter died and what happened. I wasn’t going to allow myself to get bitter and hateful toward the doctors. I felt that her husband did everything possible that he could have done for her… I could certainly demonstrate faith in that about a year ago last November, I had surgery for cancer. The fact that I went through it so well with as little heart burning and agony that I did, made me feel it was the gift of my faith. I was able to build up so much in the experience. In fact, I know it’s not my imagination because the doctors and nurses told me that I was most remarkable. They could not imagine anyone taking anything better than I did… I don’t fear death at all. I try to preserve my life, of course. There’s some instinct that tells us to take care of ourselves. I wouldn’t stand up and let a car hit me deliberately or anything like that! But, I do not feel any fear of what’s going to happen to me after death. I can’t waste my time worrying about it; there are still too many things to be doing! The only way we can live

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is one day at a time. Yesterday is gone; we can’t do very much about that. I try to prepare for tomorrow if it is necessary. You can’t start protect- ing yourself too much."

The remaining expressions listed wrap up Mabel’s feelings about the interview process, as well as her general views about aging in our society… “I’ve never really had terribly high self-esteem in ways because I’m not too social. I’m a little shy and not very aggressive about putting myself forward. For that reason, I’ve sometimes felt that it was a flaw in my per- sonality. But, I feel better about myself since we’ve been talking about this, and talking to my daughter made me realize it… I never thought I would ever be this old. In fact, at the time that I moved over here, I didn’t really expect to live long because I was having quite a bit of angina at that time. I take medication for it. I really don’t know why I am still alive!.. But, now I am determined to get into things that will keep my spirits up. I try to do something; I’m already thinking of other things that I can do. In fact, I notice in the paper every once in a while about something for seniors that I should get involved in. Right now, my health is better… Health problems are the worst thing about getting older. But, I don’t really worry too much about it accept that it’s always a little worry to the older person that you’ll become helpless. And then, too, I’m not really anxious to go to a rest home or a convalescent hospital. If I get sick enough, that’s what I’d have to do. Well, I suppose I’d take that the same way; you adjust to whatever comes along.”

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LIFE HISTORY ANALYSIS

From reviewing the content of Mabel’s feelings about her life in general, one can easily see that she is a very well-adjusted adult. Not only has she achieved body transcendence, but has moved onto the psychological self-acceptance which focuses on the acceptance of death as inevitable, known as ego transcendence. I would guess that only a certain number of older people in our society have reached this point in their lives, for ours is such a denying and superficial-oriented society. As reflected through her life experiences, Mabel has made many adaptations during the course of her life. Her personality seems to have been shaped through both inner and outer force interaction.

As expressed in the last section of Mabel’s life history, ego differentiation is a definite influence in her attitude about her life at this time. She has separated herself from former social roles and social status and is continuing to seek new satisfactions since her work and parenting roles have dropped away. She obviously holds a positive outlook on her life, regardless of the fact that there have been times of great pain, which have affected her daily living. The coping mechanisms used during her life have proved to enhance her dealings in moving into old age. I can’t say enough about how healthy and positive Mabel’s attitude is. I really had not expected to interview someone with so much openness and willingness to share relevant information.

Through body monitoring, Mabel has achieved the skill of being in-tune with her body’s functioning, which has resulted in learning to modify her eating habits. In addition, she takes certain medications for the purpose of protecting herself against diseases that she may be susceptible to as the result of past inflictions. A group which has helped her in dealing with issues revolving around food has been Overeaters Anonymous. According to

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Mabel, she and food have problems. Instead of being more of a dieting approach, Overeaters Anonymous focuses more on attitude and self-disclosure. This approach has enabled Mabel to be more willing to express her feelings to people and to God. She also mentioned that she has met people who have had many tragedies in their lives, and feels fortunate that she has avoided major problems in life, for the most part. In no way did I pick up on symptoms of disengagement on Mabel’s part. She has not withdrawn from active life as she progresses through the aging process, but rather, makes an effort to deal with her needs and works toward resolving them, as reflected through her participation in Overeaters Anonymous.

Within Mabel’s reminiscence, it is evident that she holds a definite clarification of values close to her. Because I had to limit Mabel’s quotes, as the result of the percentage defined for use in this paper, I was unable to expand on her opinions regarding values in our society that are most important and need re-emphasizing. She expressed that kindness and neighborliness are the things she felt should be preserved, as well as the importance of maintaining the family unit in our society. These factors reflect Mabel’s priorities in life, and I have to say that I definitely agree with her feelings about preserving these things in our society. At times I often feel they are lacking and tending to lose their value in society today.

Ageism is something Mabel hasn’t really experienced, according to what I heard of her general experiences with people at this point in her life. She mentioned that she has no complaints about a lack of kindness or neighborliness on the part of people she interacts with. According to her, people certainly treat her well and are good neighbors. But, she did acknowledge that she knows it isn’t like that everywhere, based on what she reads and sees. But, generally Mabel is not influenced by sociogenic aging. She recognizes her own individual capabilities and is motivated to continue making her life the best it can be. She touched on her future projection and it

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illustrated very clearly her opinion that life does not end when you become old.

It was very interesting for me to hear about Mabel’s experiences throughout history. She has lived through several wars and times that have shaped what our country is today. Her cohort saw a lot of changes in their lifetime, and I feel lucky to have been able to hear about some of them through Mabel. Her life course is one filled with rich information that I think many people in my cohort would benefit from hearing.

Stable periods in Mabel’s life would probably include times during motherhood when she concentrated on taking care of the children and doing responsibilities around the home. Her role was pretty well defined, and it seemed clear to me that Mabel really had no regrets about the choices she made in attaining those roles. She did mention to me one, though, that she would have enjoyed being a nurse. This topic came up in the course of conversation one day when she was telling me about one of her daughters that is a successful and well-paid nurse, whom she is quite proud of.

Transition periods consisted of adjusting to children being born, the death of her husband, the empty nest syndrome, and coping with catastrophic illnesses. One of the biggest changes in Mabel’s life was moving to the mobile home park in San Luis Obispo, where she lives now. She left a big house in Fresno where eight people lived at one time, until she was finally the last one there as the result of deaths and launching stages. In her reflections concerning her quality of life at the mobile home park, she explained that she really doesn’t mind living alone now, whereas at earlier ages, she used to be terribly afraid of staying alone. Based on my perceptions, Mable has made effective progress in dealing with transitions in her life.

According to Erik Erikson’s eight stage theory of life, I would like to focus on the last stage (the eighth), Integrity vs. Despair, in projecting

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how I feel Mabel fits into it at this point in her life. Because the eighth stage begins around age 65 and continues until the end of life, Mabel has been in it for some time. According to the book, The Life Cycle Completed, by Erikson, “(in this stage) the dystonic element may seem more immediately convincing, considering the fact that the top line marks the total end (unpredictable in time and kind) of this, our one given course of life. Integrity, however, seems to convey a peculiar demand—as does the specific strength that we postulate as maturing from this last antithesis—namely, wisdom.” It is clear that Mabel has achieved integrity and wisdom at this time in her life. She is filled with a sense of joy and hopefulness about life. She looks back on her life with ponderance and positivism. And, she learns and continues to learn from her life experiences. Erikson also says in his book that “There can be little doubt that today the discontinuity of family life as a result of dis-location contributes greatly to the lack in old age of that minimum of vital involvement that is necessary for really staying alive… Much of (old peoples’) despair is, in fact, a continuing sense of stagnation.” Because Mabel comes from a large family and had her own fairly large family, she has been provided with the opportunity to maintain close-knit family contacts throughout the course of her life. She still gets along well with her brothers and sisters who are still alive and continues to interact with her adult children. I really picked up on the fact that Mabel’s family is a source of love, reassurance, and security for her. One of her sisters even lives across the street from her, so they spend a lot of time together. During one visit, Mabel mentioned that her sister was on vacation and told me how much she missed her. I really sensed a strong bond that must be between them.

In his book, Erikson describes integrity as "…(not) only a rare quality of personal character, but above all a shared proclivity for understanding or for “hearing” those who do understand, the integrative ways of human life. It is a carmadeship with the ordering ways of distant times and different

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pursuits, as expressed in their simple products and sayings." It is evident to me that Mabel has achieved ego-integrity. More than just the completion of identity, she also has the ability to go beyond the limits of identity, to recognize that she may be more than ego. She has also integrated the concept of individuation into her life. She is able to balance the conflicting inner forces that we all carry in our personalities. An example of how Mabel has achieved the concept of epigenesis is illustrated through her involvement with the support group she attends. Erikson’s term for the unfolding of an individual in a social setting, Mabel has learned to express herself freely with people in ways that she didn’t ever think she would be able to before.

In conclusion, I would like to add that I have very much enjoyed my experience with interviewing Mabel Gamlin. It has surely given me a positive outlook on my own anticipations about the aging process. I always left our sessions with a good feeling and new insights. On the whole, it was a very worthwhile and valuable learning experience, both academically and personally!

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Chart 1

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Chart 2

Psychosocial Crises

Original Images